THE MAN is anything blocking the way of your destiny.
.... It's basically a circumstance trying ta hold you down.
And those obstacles can take many forms. These are a few of mine.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Childhood Sexual Abuse

My friend Toni created a blog message so honest and raw about her experience with childhood sexual abuse, I just want to celebrate her for a moment and post a link on my page about her story:


Wednesday, November 2, 2011

How Do You Know?

When you've met him...

Life just feels more lovely when he's in it.
He's your biggest cheering section.
He loves your character, praises what you view as physical flaws.
Listens to you intently.
Tells you clearly his future plan for you.
When he's already named your future kids!
When he asks you for a detailed vision of your lives together for the next 70 years, just so he can cross each off the list.
Makes your heart and stomach flutter when he's near you.
Calls you out when you frontin'.
When he'd rather leave than argue.
When you have a relationship built on friendship and trust.
When you've got years of history together.
Teaches and encourages your spiritual growth.
When he says, let's wait and do this right.
Becomes a role model for your son, sets the example for the man your daughter should marry.
Your family and friends respect him and his principles rub off on them.
You can see Christ in his walk, and he never quibbles over pettiness.
He is the "everyman", yet is extraordinary.
When he sets the standard for every man you've ever met.
When he remembers details of things you said you liked years ago.
When you can respect each others goals, and space.
When you can watch TV or sit in silence and be at peace.
He makes you laugh as whispers how beautiful you are, and how lucky he is to have you.
When winning an arguement no longer matters.
When he calls you when you wake, when he's the last you speak at night.
When he'd sacrifice just to see you happy.
When he doesn't believe in unnecessary drama.
When you can envision him old and distinguished.
When you wake up every day wanting to see or speak to him.
When you wake up everyday thanking God you know him.
When he's so sexy you can't keep your hands off him.
When you watch him command a room.
When you study his face, his hair, his lips, his voice, his mannerisms.
When he makes you want to be a better you, but loves you just as you are.
When you both can't stop saying, "I love you".

That's when you know.
You have met the right one.

Shackin' and Packin'

This one is for those that are co-habitating with their mate without a marriage.

Either you "shacking up", meaning you have a drawer over there and you are living together....
or you "packing up", meaning you have your stuff in an overnight bag and you are over there every night.

Either way, you should really consider sticking up for what you really want, which is marriage.

Living together is not marriage.
Spending every night over someone's house is not marriage.

Marriage is a commitment you make to your partner and to God.
It is a covenant. 

When you co-habitate, this is rooted in selfishness.
You are essentially saying "I'm going to see how good you can take care of me before I will commit to you. And if you jack up, I'm leaving". And even if you do finally get a ring and get married, they will still judge you based on your performance.

The minute things get hard, they are gone.

Kim Kardashian 'Kim's Fairytale Wedding' Part 2. Reality star Kim Kardashian and NBA star Kris Humphries get married in a two-part made for TV event. In tonight's 'Part 2' episode Kris and Kim officially tie th eknot in an over-the-top wedding for the ages.

There is no true commitment when you shack up.

Listen to your Grandma.

Marriage Expirations in Mexico

According to Yahoo News, Mexico City lawmakers study an initiative to introduce marriage licenses that could expire after 2 years, the Catholic Church is denouncing the proposal as an attack on marriage. Read more: http://yhoo.it/vquZgh

Here's my take on it:

Why even get married if you are going to create an "out clause" to end it?

To me, you are going into it with the wrong perspective in the first place. Marriage is a lifetime commitment. And there will be times when it gets hard, and it ain't fun.

You have made an oath to God and to your friends and family to stay care for and love this person.

This man has taken a vow to protect you-- that means he's willing to take a bullet for you and your children.

The same for a wife-- She has taken an oath to God to risk her life bearing your children.

 Don't be so quick to give up on each other, just because Marcus in Accounting listens to you whine about your husband.

Trust me, sis. Marcus ain't taking no bullet for you.

When you open a window of opportunity to Marcus, you close the door with your husband.

(Clever, huh?  I learned that from watching Jimmy & Karen.)

Listen, if you are single, recognize the difference between wanting to be married, and truly being in love with a person.

Don't get married unless you really are in love and like and respect a person on a friendship level. Romance and looks can fade, and you need to be able to enjoy their personality and have a decent conversation with them. I can't tell you how many times I hear, "I love my spouse, but I hate their ways". If you are married to somebody, but you live two separate lives with your friends, and you gotta keep them from knowing what you really like doing, then it's really not worth it.

You should truly be your spouse's best friend, and vice versa. Someone you would love to kick it with even if there wasn't romance involved.

If it's all about the sex, or money, you are going to be miserable.

Even though you might like different things, you should really have plenty of things in common--- especially when it comes to child rearing, finances, sex, spirituality, conflict resolution, etc. Find someone you really "LIKE" not just love.

Don't get married unless you are willing to take a bullet for them.