Culture Pimpin'

You've met a black man.
He's all about the Revolution and empowerment in his community.
He eats nothing but leaves, water, and air.
His hair is one long matted dread with many spriglet babies shooting off them.
He smells like frankincense and funk.
He brushes his teeth with a strawberry chew stick.
His deodorant is made of the finest organic tree sap.
His carbon footprint is miniscule because he has no car.
He believes in 2012 aliens will come down and pick up only black people.
He says marriage is a European tradition and in the Motherland, they had rites of passage ceremonies where men could marry 4 wives.
His sandals are made of recycled tires.
Everything you think  you know, you have no idea. Only he knows the "true story" behind the conspiracy.
He believes a woman's role is in the home. He belittles your ideas of traditional values.
His own value system changes depending on which Black Nationalist leader is in town.
He doesn't believe in condoms because they are made of latex. And he has 11 kids by 5 other women.
He has a god. And his name is Bob Marley.
He sells organic smoothies and fragrance oil in front of your job.

And you are madly in love with him.

My dearest loved one. You have just fallen in love with a culture pimp.
This spriglet man is a rolling stone. He talks a good game about commitment. Marriage. Being a good provider of the family. But look at his actions. His track record. He's trying to indoctrinate you into a religion where all the women share the same man. All of them serve his selfish polygamist needs.

You are NOT going to be happy living like this.
It's time to let him go.

Now there are plenty of amazing spriglet men out there that never turn to the darkside become culture pimps who manipulate women. But if you are dating someone that makes you feel like they know everything and are conscious, and they view you as still asleep.....then recognize the kind of man you are dealing with.

They sure are good to look at, though....lol.