THE MAN is anything blocking the way of your destiny.
.... It's basically a circumstance trying ta hold you down.
And those obstacles can take many forms. These are a few of mine.

Monday, January 16, 2012

When He Truly Loves You...

I was asked; "How do you know if a man truly loves you?" This is an age old question that woman like to ask and know the answer to.

1. He will give you his last even when he is in need himself;

2. He will work 2 or 3 jobs to provide security for you and your children;

3. He will lay down his life for you without asking;

4. He will volunteer to provide support for you without you asking;

5.He will be proud to bring you around his mother and family;

6. He will defend your honor against anyone while in your presence or not;

7. He will show and tell you how much he loves you and what you mean to him

8. He will listen to you and always take your concerns seriously

9. He will make adjustments in his life in a positive way to become the man you believe him to be

10. He will try to give you the world

11. He will put you first

12. The bulk of his time will be spent with you when he is not at work

13. He will buy you things that he knows you like when you least expect it

14. He will cook for you and help around the house and with the children to ease your load

.....Most men are not verbal, so we speak through or actions,and its through his actions, not his words, that you will be able to know how he truly feels. A man that loves a woman will try his best to give her the world and everything in it..The above is a bullet proof gauge and standard to go by to know if a man really loves you. Hope this helps..Peace.

-Shadid McDonald

Friday, December 9, 2011



No two words are more powerful in the human language than “I AM.”

In Exodus, God told Moses to inform the Egyptians that they needed to set His chosen people, the Israelites free from enslavement. Moses asked God, “What if the Pharoah asks who sent me, what should I tell him?”
And God replied, “Tell them I AM THAT I AM sent you”.

One, it shows God’s sense of humor. But there’s something more important here.
God knew who He was. He didn’t need a name. And He felt no need to justify Himself to anyone. He is everything. He just IS. Omnipresent. Omnipotent. Creator of the Universe.

God never questions who He is. He knows who He is. He knows that all it takes is a command, an utterance, and the universe obeys. And He always says afterward,"it is good", or "I am pleased."

Supernatural things happen. The earth gets formed in seven days. A little spit, a little dirt, the breath from God, and voila!, you have Adam. An utterance that originates from Him (sometimes by way of messenger), makes seas part, the walls of Jericho fall, makes bushes burn but not be consumed, makes fig trees whither and die…people are healed, the dead come back to life.

God knows who He is. Jesus knew who his Father was. Because he gave his complete submission and total faith in God, Jesus was able to work miracles. Jesus showed us that it wasn’t by his doing, but by his Father, that miracles are possible.

Because we were created from God, and have His breath in us, and are His children, we have these abilities like Jesus and like God. Made in his image. A scaled down mini version of the Creator. Father and his children. We are creators too, we create all the time, whether we are conscious of it or not. If we submit to God’s will and have complete and total trust in him, we too can work miracles.

We have to remember who’s we are. And how valuable we are.


I am God’s child. I am worthy. I am loved.

God didn’t say, I think. I want. I could be. I should have. I don’t know, what if.

God lives in complete knowing and expectation that what He says will be. Jesus taught us to live in complete faith and not doubt. These are the examples we should follow.

So instead of uttering the daily foolish words in our lives that don’t show our faith, we need to use more faith filled words.

Words like "I AM".

When we pray we should give Him respect and praise, confess our sins, ask for help for others and ourselves, and give thanks.
If you can conceive it, ask for it, and believe it, you can achieve it. Get into expectation. And give thanks when you achieve it.

Whether you focus on something you don’t want, or something you do want. God always knows what you need.

If you don’t want it, and your attention is concentrated on it, you will call it forth because there is a lesson to be learned. Your Spirit wants to experience what you think you do not want so it can prove to you that you can accomplish it and grow in faith. Your Spirit comes from God and is His pure love. It already knows the path to God. It wants YOU to know it, too.

If you do want something, there is a difference between wanting and expectation. Wanting will produce a perpetual state of wanting. Expectation is faith and will produce results.

The best way to practice living in expectation is to utter words of faith, like I AM.

When you know who you are, and who’s you are, God knows who you are. You are always a child of God, but when you recognize your value, and you speak words of faith, and you believe He will be good to you, God is pleased.

I can know all of this as my Truth. But I have to practice it consistently for me to get consistent results.
When I have half assed prayer, and half assed faith, I get half assed results. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Some days are good, some are bad. Some prayers are answered, and some aren’t, or I’m told to wait.

Sometimes I get I want, instead of I am. Sometimes I get I don’t want, when I mean to say I AM.
Even when I can’t fully believe in what I want or who I am, I try to reach for what Shayla calls, “hope statements”.

For example, if I can’t believe my house will be saved, I can at least say I hope my house will be saved. And that helps me, until I can truly believe it can be saved, as I do know.

Not only do I believe it can be saved, I know it will be saved. It is already saved. Not only is it saved, it’s prosperous and growing in equity. Not only is it prosperous and growing in equity, it is already paid off. Thank you Lord for bringing the resources to me to live in abundance.

See? That’s how it works.


I bring all this up to remind myself that the reason I long, I ache, I worry, I get angry, I get frustrated, I feel alone, I get upset, I get sad, I blame, I live in guilt, I don’t understand, I obsess, I cry, and any other variety of bad feelings I feel is simply because I am not living in expectation. Asking over and over again is not living in expectation. Worry and doubt is not living in expectation.

I need to be consistently where my Spirit is. In joy, peace, love, truth, appreciation. The more I can stay there, the happier I will be.

When I receive thoughts that contradict that, then I know I am not acknowledging where my Spirit wants to be.

And I get dis-ease. Dis-comfort. Dis-repair. Dis-appointment. Dis-respect. Dis-caring. Dis-trust.

Even when I receive these negative experiences, it’s all on how you look at it. You can easily change your perspective and pivot out of it. Just replace it with a new thought you can believe.

In every situation, I can either get in agreement with it, or use it as a teaching growth tool and still be in appreciation for the experience.

God never leaves us. He is always there. So, if you are in a situation where you feel like you can’t hear or feel Him, then you know you are in a place that you shouldn’t be. You feel alone. You feel isolated. You are in judgment of it. You are in anger of it. Even anger is an expression of love on some level, because you gave your trust and love and you feel betrayed, thus eliciting an anger response. It’s just another version of love.

 Focusing on the negative aspect of it instead of it’s positive.

There are two sides to every story.
Choose which side you wish to focus on and that will be your experience.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Childhood Sexual Abuse

My friend Toni created a blog message so honest and raw about her experience with childhood sexual abuse, I just want to celebrate her for a moment and post a link on my page about her story:


Wednesday, November 2, 2011

How Do You Know?

When you've met him...

Life just feels more lovely when he's in it.
He's your biggest cheering section.
He loves your character, praises what you view as physical flaws.
Listens to you intently.
Tells you clearly his future plan for you.
When he's already named your future kids!
When he asks you for a detailed vision of your lives together for the next 70 years, just so he can cross each off the list.
Makes your heart and stomach flutter when he's near you.
Calls you out when you frontin'.
When he'd rather leave than argue.
When you have a relationship built on friendship and trust.
When you've got years of history together.
Teaches and encourages your spiritual growth.
When he says, let's wait and do this right.
Becomes a role model for your son, sets the example for the man your daughter should marry.
Your family and friends respect him and his principles rub off on them.
You can see Christ in his walk, and he never quibbles over pettiness.
He is the "everyman", yet is extraordinary.
When he sets the standard for every man you've ever met.
When he remembers details of things you said you liked years ago.
When you can respect each others goals, and space.
When you can watch TV or sit in silence and be at peace.
He makes you laugh as whispers how beautiful you are, and how lucky he is to have you.
When winning an arguement no longer matters.
When he calls you when you wake, when he's the last you speak at night.
When he'd sacrifice just to see you happy.
When he doesn't believe in unnecessary drama.
When you can envision him old and distinguished.
When you wake up every day wanting to see or speak to him.
When you wake up everyday thanking God you know him.
When he's so sexy you can't keep your hands off him.
When you watch him command a room.
When you study his face, his hair, his lips, his voice, his mannerisms.
When he makes you want to be a better you, but loves you just as you are.
When you both can't stop saying, "I love you".

That's when you know.
You have met the right one.

Shackin' and Packin'

This one is for those that are co-habitating with their mate without a marriage.

Either you "shacking up", meaning you have a drawer over there and you are living together....
or you "packing up", meaning you have your stuff in an overnight bag and you are over there every night.

Either way, you should really consider sticking up for what you really want, which is marriage.

Living together is not marriage.
Spending every night over someone's house is not marriage.

Marriage is a commitment you make to your partner and to God.
It is a covenant. 

When you co-habitate, this is rooted in selfishness.
You are essentially saying "I'm going to see how good you can take care of me before I will commit to you. And if you jack up, I'm leaving". And even if you do finally get a ring and get married, they will still judge you based on your performance.

The minute things get hard, they are gone.

Kim Kardashian 'Kim's Fairytale Wedding' Part 2. Reality star Kim Kardashian and NBA star Kris Humphries get married in a two-part made for TV event. In tonight's 'Part 2' episode Kris and Kim officially tie th eknot in an over-the-top wedding for the ages.

There is no true commitment when you shack up.

Listen to your Grandma.

Marriage Expirations in Mexico

According to Yahoo News, Mexico City lawmakers study an initiative to introduce marriage licenses that could expire after 2 years, the Catholic Church is denouncing the proposal as an attack on marriage. Read more: http://yhoo.it/vquZgh

Here's my take on it:

Why even get married if you are going to create an "out clause" to end it?

To me, you are going into it with the wrong perspective in the first place. Marriage is a lifetime commitment. And there will be times when it gets hard, and it ain't fun.

You have made an oath to God and to your friends and family to stay care for and love this person.

This man has taken a vow to protect you-- that means he's willing to take a bullet for you and your children.

The same for a wife-- She has taken an oath to God to risk her life bearing your children.

 Don't be so quick to give up on each other, just because Marcus in Accounting listens to you whine about your husband.

Trust me, sis. Marcus ain't taking no bullet for you.

When you open a window of opportunity to Marcus, you close the door with your husband.

(Clever, huh?  I learned that from watching Jimmy & Karen.)

Listen, if you are single, recognize the difference between wanting to be married, and truly being in love with a person.

Don't get married unless you really are in love and like and respect a person on a friendship level. Romance and looks can fade, and you need to be able to enjoy their personality and have a decent conversation with them. I can't tell you how many times I hear, "I love my spouse, but I hate their ways". If you are married to somebody, but you live two separate lives with your friends, and you gotta keep them from knowing what you really like doing, then it's really not worth it.

You should truly be your spouse's best friend, and vice versa. Someone you would love to kick it with even if there wasn't romance involved.

If it's all about the sex, or money, you are going to be miserable.

Even though you might like different things, you should really have plenty of things in common--- especially when it comes to child rearing, finances, sex, spirituality, conflict resolution, etc. Find someone you really "LIKE" not just love.

Don't get married unless you are willing to take a bullet for them.