THE MAN is anything blocking the way of your destiny.
.... It's basically a circumstance trying ta hold you down.
And those obstacles can take many forms. These are a few of mine.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Do you Possess What's on Your Own List?

So many times I hear women talk about the qualities they are looking for in a man.

"I need a man that goes to church. That loves his family. That is making good money. That is 6 foot 3. That looks like Morris Chestnut. That wants to spend all his money on me. That takes me on trips. That loves my four kids and can beat down they baby daddies. That has a nice car and all his teeth. That's loving and kind and has a great life and would never cheat on me."

I just look at them blankly.
And then I listen to them tell me about their lives.

They never go to church. They constantly fight with their family. They are living check to check. They are  bitchy, they don't go to the gym and take care of themselves. They are stingy with their money. They have never traveled out of the state. They treat their own kids as a burden that stops them from partying. Either their car is always breaking down, or some man is paying the notes. Her teeth, hair, and eye color aren't real. And they talk about everyone like a dog. Their main claim to fame is that they are a super judgmental diva and everyone should bow down to their  will. They don't understand the true meaning of real commitment, because they always have a man on the side, trying to keep their "options open."

Listen, sis.

How do you expect for God to bless you with this glorious man if you don't have your own shit together?
Everything you have on your list, you should already be for yourself!
You can't expect a good man like this to get with you and want to stick and stay! How will you improve his life? Will you make him miserable? Why should he have to fix you up and help your condition? Will you even want to change, or will you just drag him down?

If you are the woman I've described, the only man you need is Jesus. And maybe a good therapist.

You have too much baggage going on. You need to get your life in order so you can  love yourself first. Then you can be in a position to be loved by someone else.



  1. "You cannot make someone love you, you can only make yourself someone who can be loved!"
    Derek Gamba

  2. Would YOU date yourself? Would you introduce a good man to your girlfriends?