Friday, December 10, 2010
Dating is Really Like a Job Interview
Dating is really like screening applications for a job posting. You really got to know what you are looking for.
Zero foe da MAN Corporation
Vacancy: Exclusive Boyfriend/Chief Executive Officer
Promotion Potential: Husband
Announcement Posted: December 10, 2010
Deadline: open until filled
Zero foe da MAN Corporation, one of the most successful families in the business, is now looking to hire an exclusive boyfriend. Benefits of this position include upgrades such as unlimited love, dedication, and support, financial increase, top notch housing, travel vacations, education expenses, sex, and unlimited spiritual and emotional growth potential.
The incumbent will serve as chief CEO of the company, and be responsible for day to day management operations of its employees, hired under the former EX-marriage conglomerate, i.e Team Little. Employees will look to this Director for guidance, love, and advice on becoming adults, and will answer to the CEO and VP, respectively. The vice president will assist the CEO in the daily affairs of running the company, and will look to the CEO for love, emotional support, advice, sex, and overall fun and companionship. If the CEO proves a successful match, the company will take on a new name under new leadership.
• Must be book smart and street smart.
• Must be interested in getting to know the VP, and willing to pursue an intimate relationship, and reminds the VP that he wants her everyday.
• Must be able to have a friendship first, that can make the VP laugh and think and can teach her something.
• Must be a man that the VP can have physical chemistry with, is attracted to her, and she attracted to him, and are compatible sexually.
• Must be a man that treats the VP like a queen and is happy to be around her.
• Must love kids, be a team player, and have an interest in loving all members of the team.
• Must have an close spiritual relationship with God first, and able to lead the company spiritually.
• Must take care of his finances and is generous with his time, his talents, his money.
• Must be worldly, aware of current events, and a desire to travel.
• Must be healthy and can help keep the team healthy.
• Must be able to take care of his belongings, and likes to help take care of shared company assets.
• Someone who is honest, trustworthy, faithful, and dependable.
• Someone who is exciting, and fun to be around.
• Must be successful man that has goals, dreams, and visions for the future, and has a clear plan on how to get there, and is passionate about their field.
• Someone who is neat and can help the VP stay neat.
• Someone who takes pride in himself, his appearance, his self esteem.
• Someone that is confident, a natural born leader, and gets along with people and knows how to protect his family
• A man that is good to his friends and family.
• Someone that will want to settle down and get married eventually, and possibly have more kids.
• Someone that is easy going, lighthearted, compassionate, patient, and slow to anger.
• Must allow the VP creative freedom to be herself and pursue goals independently, but with support, if needed.
• Must be drug free and, without harmful addictions.
• Previous familiarity with our company in our Friendship Division
• African American
• Unique eyes
• Big lips
• Bald preferred, will consider locs
• Deep voice
• 5'6 or taller
• Amazing kissing and foreplay skills
• Athletic build,with a nice little booty, LMAO!
• Direct straightforward leadership skills when dealing with disgruntled former employees
• Can work independently on sole projects
Applicants who are interested in this position may contact Tray by responding to this post in the comments section. Please note that this critical hiring is a competitive process. We are hiring the best candidate for the position that can work as a team to better the company as a whole. We are accepting applications from many applicants, and less than 1% will receive a face to face interview. There will be extensive background checks, independent panel reviews, health screenings, and skills tests should you receive a callback!
-The One for me, zero for THE MAN.