Interesting that Steve Harvey, of all folks, has written two consecutive #1 New York Times bestselling books on relationships — Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man and Straight Talk, No Chaser — and has become what people are calling a relationship expert.
Harvey admits his relationship and marriage woes, which included being accused of beating his first wife and stealing from her, and then trying to have her committed to a mental hospital when she had the audacity to complain. But I digress.
In Straight Talk, Harvey said men and women cannot be friends at all, which I don’t believe to be entirely true. Here’s what he said in an interview:
“I was just sitting down telling the truth. All of my friends are men. I don’t have female friends. I’m incapable of that,“ he said, before cranking up his famously brutal honesty. “You [women] think you have male friends. No. He is your friend because he knows right now men remain your friends in the hope that, one day, there will be a crack in the door, a chink in the armor. And trust and believe that guy who you think is just your friend, he will slide in so quick the moment he gets the opportunity. We’re guys.”
To the vets in the game, this statement recalls the comedy classic, When Harry Met Sally when comedian Billy Crystal’s character told Meg Ryan’s character that men and women cannot be friends.
When asked how many men feel this way, Harvey said, “Ninety-nine percent of us. It’s instinctive for us to think this way. And you tell a woman this, it blows her back. She’s says ‘No, I have male friends.’ But you only have male friends because they know it can’t be anything else right now.”
Harvey even went as far as ask the ladies who think they have male friends to put administer a test. “Ask them in a friendly way, ‘if we dated, would you be OK with that’ And just watch the fireworks. Just watch. I’m telling you.’”
Harvey is wrong, but not totally wrong. It is true that most men are not being totally honest with women — especially attractive females — that they are playing the buddy role with their female friends. However, Harvey is wrong by painting a broadbrush over the situation. I have several female friends whom I consider near and dear to my heart. They are critical components of my life. But I have not considered trying to "get with them" at any time. If anything, I talk about other women around them and they tell me about their love life. And that’s the way we like it.
What do you think? Can men and women truly be friends? –terry shropshire Rolling out magazine